At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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