Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
