4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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