i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
