That's intense
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
