All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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