someone threw a dead crab at me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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