So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
