when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
