I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
