I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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