Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
