My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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