at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
