I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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