First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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