It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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