piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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