My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
