When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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