I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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