you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
