We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize