So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
did i just pee glitter
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
