Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
