Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
