I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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