idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
