East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
