In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
