Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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