dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
