guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
