It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
