i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My underwear smells like fireworks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Acid is not a monday night drug
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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