No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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