You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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