Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I puked a lego.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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