so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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