Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
