but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
