ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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