no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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