o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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