he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
