she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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