Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
