was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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