Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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