my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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