So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize