He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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