She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
