He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
