A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize