Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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