Having a random hookup so left but love u
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
