i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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