last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
