ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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